destined april 22,2005

i never
liked eowyn
i much prefered the beautiful elven arwen
and felt like they could have chosen
a much prettier heroine.
and the whole persona
warrior lady
sword yielding
battle ready
aragorn swooning

i just didn't like her.

and then i realized
much like you realize
that you are everything
that you dislike
about your mom your grammom your sister
how similar you really are.
and i had one
of those epiphanies
while manuerving my car around
the construction and flagmen on route 40.
i was multitasking.
reading and driving
and collecting the days
thoughts while sipping
my diet pepsi
in the cool blue can
and it hit me.

a huge hand of "how'd i miss that?"

she and i silly
and puffed up
on the verge of greatness if only....
and the fear of dying unknown and living forgotten
obscurity and killing the death king
is just not enough
"i am NO Man..."chop.
and missing the greatness in the mundane.
in fat baby hands and curly haired little boys
and eight year old dance parties in the reflection of the stove.

and i'm no-
never have been the pretty one.
always a sore thumb
and a scrappy resolve
keep looking for the grand adventure
the laurels and the applause
and i miss all of the
minute miracles and the everyday wonderful.

this daughter of kings
needs to get off her high
lofty pie in the sky
restlessness.and relax.
sunbathe

(even though i've never been able to sit that long for the color to take...............)

and be happy
with prizes and the day
of glory.the lifetime of ordinary
yet amazing.taking my place
next to all the rest
who have not done much
but are happy
nontheless.