april 15,2005

sweet spring


dichotomy.
depression
in springtime.
it almost seems
completely
impossible to be
grey clouds
and glass half empty
song sung blue
when the sky is
heaving and white
and the fruit trees
are all decked out
in their prom
gowns and heels.
the pollen is thick
and you can taste
the honey bees buzz
birds chirp and still
my heart breaks.

charlie brown
lost baseball games
the constant scrutiny
not measuring up.
to leave it me to be
such a failure
i've got the fifties
fashion down pat
it's just all the casseroles
and clean woodwork
that i struggle and drown in.
all of the
heightened expectations.
and i am a terrible
mother and my cookies
don't turn out
and i can't seem to
get the pie crusts-
anymore.

i'm a sad sack
in spring
when the world
is robed in
beauty and i am not.
and i can't stand it.
feel so glass
menagerie
tennesee williamstown
i just try
to hold on.