april 2,2005

harwan theater


sweaty teenage boys
x marked the spot

.stop.

to it all
swimming up
streaming past
meatheads
and potheads
and then off to college.
few faithful.left.
to the hope
and the cause
victory records
screamy bands that speak
exactly what you need
to say.


greener grass and hash
and the little devil
cartoon on your shoulder
whispered and the true till death
seemed more reasonable
true till tuesday
slipped into
something more comfortable
into the netherworld
the you never said neverworld
till you
became one of
them.

puker
stumbler
fumbler
pocketing the lie
that can only be had
when your blood alcohol
level is higher than your sat's

said hello to jacks
and mickeys and whoever else
your friends were able
to bring home
fake id and even faker you
that said things that sounded
ridiculous and looked like
an even bigger fool.
in a room held down and screaming.
two by two.who knew.
and the liquor wore off real quick
hovering.haunting
above yourself.the whole scene
wife beaters.meat eaters.up the weak and screams
that got lost in the vomit.
and drowned in the tears.
crawling to a closet.
locked in.
left for dead.
for years
till you feel seventeen and shaky
when you see a drunk man
when you are alone in an elevator with a stranger
when you are forced to trust,again...

and
i wish you could turn
back the dial
shelter and policy of three
and shows at bonnies.
i wish you could have
found your salvation in pits
and backpacks and homeade
press passes and
zines scads of zines.

philadelphia never really loved you.
and there's really no
going back.