march 26,2005

passion day 5


this bloodied mes
(my bloody valentine)s
just prolongs
the agony the
gnawing pain that
never gives way
and the truth
and this life of
mine hidden
in obscurity
racking up
the points
the notches
in your back
so that i can do dumb things
like feel desirable worth it
and worse still swan song
my own private idaho
blazing the trail
causing
an uproar and
it gets me...no
where to run
to lick the gaping
wounds.bruises.fat lips
humanity sliding
down my cheeks
shame
under ice
trying to reduce
the swelling of
this heart about
to burst
carelessess of my lips
the subtly of my sin
brings us back to this...
stories too sad to repeat
agony stifled pain
sounds and humiliation
(laughing as you suffer)
pleasure in your pain
i join them plunking
down my spare change
for a chance
(sucker for sales)
laughing when you are uncomfortable...
you know that its wrong
that its easier to be an
accomplice than to fisticuffs
rally your resolve
and then comes the really terrible part
the initiation
can not be complete
and so you stand
buckling pressure
sweat saturating
shirt clinging
you drive
the stakes into heart
and eternity into goodness
and mercy and the
blood is shed
so that you may be
free.it hits
you time after
time your culpability
culprit cooperate
punishment you cry
till your nose falls
off your face
till your head
aches begs
for reprieve
cold in shock
shaking at the love
for granted
the grace ignored
the hollow that
can be so effortlessly
full and heaving
of life unspeakable
changed in
this moment
swear i'll never
let you down...again...
blood
stains never quite
come out
the wounds
will reopen
have to bathe
again and again
new every morning
you cover you
forgive you hold
me in the palm
pierced hands
i'm sorry....
and i'm grateful.
gloria revolution.